Marriage Advice

I ran across this article in my friend's feed today http://www.lifebuzz.com/happy-couples/#!XJDrJ it's probably the first article with marriage advice that I actually agree with. But the most important rule, in my opinion, is #1: Go to bed at the same time.

Both my husband and I are on marriage number 2. In our first marriages, neither of us followed this rule. Not to say that not going to bed at the same time ruined our first marriages, but it certainly contributed to the issues, especially in my first marriage. It created distance that allowed room for addictions to creep in. Had we gone to bed at the same time, it's likely those addictions wouldn't have started.

I realize that life happens & going to bed at the same time 7 days a week may be impossible, but I've noticed several 'things' that start to happen when couples don't go to bed at the same time.

1. There's less sex. Yes, I know marriage isn't all about sex & sex doesn't only occur at bedtime, but let's be realistic. Going to bed together increases the likelihood of cuddling & in my world, that usually leads to sex.

2. The likelihood of being on the same sleep schedule decreases. If one partner is in bed at 9pm & awake at 6am and the other person is in bed at midnight & awake at 9am, that makes for 6 hours of distance. While some of you make look at that time apart & be relieved, I look at it and get sad. Now don't get me wrong, I loathe mornings and often stay in bed until Jasen tells me the coffee is ready, but overall we try to stay on the same schedule. During plant season, if I don't get up & drink coffee with him at 5am, I won't see him for an entire day.

3. Creates opportunities for a negative atmosphere. I promise you that few woman likes to stay up late cleaning or get the children off to school alone in the morning. Being in a partnership means being partners in everything. Including housework & parenting, and both parents should work together to make a family work.

I know that relationships look different for everyone. I know that this advice or any marital advice may not fit everyone's lifestyle. I also know that my marriage is a happier place when we start & end our days together.


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